Yet another snow day has fallen upon us! It is only Wednesday and already the week has been insane – lots and lots of chaos that I won’t go into here. On the bright side, Hubby has a snow day and doesn’t have to go into work – so Peanut and I can enjoy him!
So my quote of the day sums up how I feel about being a parent – especially when I consider putting Peanut in day care. I am really struggling with it and worry about it a lot. I knew the transition would be difficult for me and for her – but I had no idea how difficult. You’re probably thinking – “Wait – I thought she was staying home with Peanut?! Did I miss something?” – and no, you didn’t. She is still home with me but I am gearing up for another job interview. A job that I think could potentially be great – fulfilling the requirements of my program, allowing me to work with a diverse population, and giving us a really nice boost financially. Yet, somehow I don’t know if it’s what I really want. I think about leaving her and it kills me. She is a part of me – a part of us – now, and honestly I can’t fathom the thought of her being at a day care during the week for more of her waking hours than she is at home. It’s a bridge that many many mothers cross – and believe me, I know I have been so, so fortunate to have had these 8 months (8 months today, actually!) home with her – but I am not sure I am strong enough to do it. And with that, I quote Elizabeth Stone:
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.