(Kamila Harris Photography)
It’s still hard to believe that I am a mommy, and that you are here, and that you are almost 11 months old already. I have learned more in this year than I have learned my whole life. I have experienced creating new life and observed growth in ways that I never could have imagined.
And there’s you. You are perfect. You make my day just by waking up in the morning. I have never experienced so much love and happiness in my life. That’s why I want to try my hardest to be the best mommy that I can be. I know I won’t be perfect – I know that some days (years, even) will be harder than others – but I promise to keep learning and growing right along with you.
Before you were born – before you were even thought about – I thought about being a mommy. It’s something I’ve always looked forward to and like anyone, I had thoughts about the kind of mommy I “would be” and the kind of mommy I “wanted to be.” Already, there are things about how I go about mommyhood that have surprised me – some good, and some expectations I have not lived up to. Like I said, I keep learning and growing…
What kind of mother do I want to be? I want to be the kind of mommy…
Who kisses boo boos and makes them all better
Who makes you feel like you made my day every time you come home
Who praises you far more than I criticize or reprimand
Who makes a big deal out of your important events – showing up, sharing them with others, shouting for you loud and clear, and being excited!
Who follows through with my promises
Who is just there for you when you need me
Who can listen without criticism, unwanted advice, or trying to tell you how to “fix it”
Who recognizes where you are at developmentally and appreciates the things you are trying to accomplish while also understanding your limitations
Who isn’t afraid to speak up if you are being wronged
Who jumps at any chance to be silly and dance to music, play dress up, make a mess, build forts…
Who doesn’t get caught up in the small stuff and can easily “get over it,” move on, forgive
Who encourages family time, sitting down together for dinner, and (eek) no TV/computers in bedrooms! (sorry)
Who doesn’t care what profession you choose or who you choose to love so long as you’re happy and not being hurt in some way
I hope I can live up to all of them. I know that some of my mommy list has things that won’t come until much, much, later – but I have seen how fast this (almost) year has gone by with you – and I just know that I will blink and you will be all grown up [deep breath]. On this mothers day, the first of very many, I want to thank you Peanut for bringing so much happiness to my life and making me want to be the best version of myself that I can. I love you.