[Kamila Harris Photography]
One year has passed since I wrote you my first Letter from Mommy. In this year I have watched you become your own little person. You, my beautiful child, can sing, hug, and say “I love you.” You can be silly on purpose and keep a joke going (for what seems as long as possible). You are so playful and fun, are exploring how to test the limits and you are full of determination and willfulness. You have experienced more “firsts” – first vacation, first haircut, and first cousin. There is something so wonderful to me about having a young child who revels in the simple day to day reading time, playing time, and cuddle time. The big, hard, trying adult things that happen aren’t even detected on your radar.
And there have been many big, hard, trying adult things. This year you had to stay in the hospital to screen for what the doctors thought may have been seizures. They were not detected – thank goodness – but it was a very worrisome time for us. All the while we were in the hospital you somehow maintained her happy state of mind (even with wires on her head and backpack on her back for over 50 hours). This year we experienced the loss of Daddy’s beloved Grandmother. We try to pick up the pieces as best we can and at the end of the day – we think of how blessed we are to have you. But somewhere in the back of my mind I remind myself that someday you will have to learn how to cope with these things – and other things – in this complex, sometimes scary, adult world. Right now you are filled with unabashed silliness and innocence and someday things will certainly be different.
To me – to be a good mother my job is to provide a source of support for you as you learn how to navigate the world, cope with life’s difficulties, and grow into your own person. Being a good mother to me means not only pouring love into the nurturing of you, but also into the nurturing of my relationship with Daddy. After all, a good marriage is the foundation for everything else.
You have made me look at everything – everything – so differently. I have become so much more introspective and thoughtful about my actions and words. I have become a more compassionate person. I thank you for this Peanut and for the mommyhood that you have given to me.
I will keep growing right along with you.